(Test Scene/Flashback) Because I'm Falling Down

[l33t_winged_bat]

She rubs her eyes and then readjusts her glasses. She's caught herself staring at Nightwing's cim signal. Still active. Still in Gotham. Still not feeling chatty. Normally, this would be bliss. Dick always wants to talk her ear off about things she'd rather forget...No, not forget. Shelve. Put away in the archive and bring out when it serves some use other then to remind her -

She cuts herself off from the thought and wheels herself away from her terminal. Dinner has been sitting warm in the crockpot for hours after she planned on eating it. Her stomach is growling now and she's once again reminded of her own physical limitations - again.

After scooping up some lamb stew and depositing it over some mashed potatoes she finds herself staring out the impractical clocktower window out onto Gotham City. The clock was a contractor's joke or exploitation; maybe both. There's no way anyone can actually see this thing from the street. It was put here because of the kind of waste and underhanded dealings she and Dick sacrificed their youths to fix. It doesn't stay fixed. Hundreds of years of everyone down there thinking the only way to get by was to look out for themselves created a living testament to the vast good and evil such individual ambition brings the world.

Her neck feels pinched. She moves her hand to rub it when the com beeps and she rolls over to answer it.

Oracle to Nightwing. Respond

Comments

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

He heard the response as he made his way from rooftop to rooftop, making a far gentler and less theatrical route than usual. Cradled in his arms was a small kitten, who mewed with every jarring landing that came with his acrobatics. He finally landed at his destination, seeing Barbara at the comm from the opposite vantage point of hers, on the ledge outside of the clock window.

"This is Nightwing." He finally replied as he tapped the glass to get her attention. He looked in awkwardly at her, realizing the sight he must be, wet, bedraggled, unshaven, and holding a similarly abused-looking calico kitten in his hands. "Mind if I come over?" He asked with a weak smile.

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

She's still using the green face of doom.

That's a cat.

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

Dick stood a little incredulously, slightly annoyed that Babs was still using the com with him right there. He had been expecting a warmer welcome, but then, that had been rather hopeful after his behavior the past few weeks, and he knew it.

"Really?" He responded dryly, and looked down with feigned surprise. "Huh. Last time I go to that chinese place." He looked back at her with an expression of weak bemusement tempered with annoyance.

"Seriously, mind just letting me in?"

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

Some part of her is throwing a tantrum of "bad idea." That pinch in her neck flares again as she opens the door and the elevator without comment.

Let him make the first move. He always does.

Come on, Babs, she thinks. Now you're going out of your way not to be fair to him. He'll find her with two towels in her hand - one for him. One for the cat.

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

With speed and grace, he made his way to the elevator, happily taking the towels as he entered.

"Thanks..." He said briskly letting it trail off as he tried to think of what to say next. He began to gingerly towel off the cat, all the while organizing his thoughts. He looked at Babs with a weak smile.

"I... I found a cat."

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

She closes her just a moment. She has a very hard time trying to hate him while he's in the room. No one has the right to look that graceful and handsome with three days of beard scruff and soaking wet. Her seated position also
always gives her the greatest view of...

She inwardly sighs and switches to her detective sense. It doesn't help. He's moving like he's tired and probably has a sore shoulder. His uniform has blood on various parts of it, meaning he hasn't been somewhere to clean it up. Alfred obviously hasn't found him, meaning there hasn't been a check-in with Bruce. No real shock.

"I see that." Her hands move to the small thing struggling in his grip. They end up covering his instead. "Let's get her something to eat. With her being this young, she probably won't be eating solid food."

"How long have you been out there?"

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

"That sounds good..." He started, then stopping at her next question. A confused look passed over his face for a moment, before settling back into his standard, resolute expression. It was not having it's normal effect, however. He looked... tired.

"Not really sure." He said, averting his eyes to avoid hers. "A few days, maybe more. I've been getting less sleep than usual, so I'm losing track." He withdrew slightly, physically and mentally.

"A lot of work to do."

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

She nods. "Always is." She moves the kitten into her lap and struggles to towel her off.

"Why don't you just stay here a couple of days?" Oh, she's kicking herself for asking, but nothing needs to happen. They're adults, right? "There's a couch and a shower. Plus, I can get your friend here to a vet. You know I can monitor things out there if it gets bad."

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

At first, Dick shook his head. In his mind, he wanted to keep going, keep fighting. The fight was the only thing that numbed him, that kept away the pain. At the same time, he was exhausted, filthy, and no happier for having lost sleep and alienated his friends. After a few moments, the head-shaking subsided and Dick let out a long sigh.

"That... Might be a good idea." He finally said. "Just a nap and a shower, though." He added quickly. "The sooner I'm back out there, the better." He nodded as punctuation on that last bit, as if asserting to himself that he was still in control, though observation could easily dismiss that possibility.

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

"Think of it as a moment to plan," she says, echoing his thoughts. Sure, she'd like him to stay a awhile longer, but it would play hell on both of their self-control and there's a war on.

"There's milk in the fridge."

After a long moment of silence, she admits. "I would just start with the small talk if I knew what to say. Best I can tell you is the lamb stew is available."

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

The next few moments were a study in awkward silence. Dick removed his mask and began to move wordlessly about the apartment, setting out a saucer of milk for the young kitten and getting his stew. He sat down on the couch and began eating, still not responding to Barbara's comment. His eyes remained fixated on the kitten lapping happily at it's saucer. After minutes of the abject, nearly crushing lack of sound, he finally spoke.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry." He said, leaving the statement at that.

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

She closes her eyes. "So am I. I...get just so mad at you, and it's not you, exactly." Her hands rest on her thighs while her fingers play with the hem of the abandoned blanket. "It's complicated and I'm not sure it's fair to drop 'complicated' onto your schedule right now."

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

He laughed slightly.

"Honestly, complicated might be a lot less simple than anything on my schedule at the moment." He offered a weak, sardonic smile before lapsing back into ponderous seriousness.

"I'm kind of worried right now." He said, his lack of sleep making him oddly tangential. "Am I just... doing what Bruce did after Jason?"

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

It wasn't the question she was expecting. Her mind starts to filter back through those dark days. "In what way, exactly?"

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

Dick put his plate down and sat, thinking before speaking.

"I feel like... I keep telling myself I'm fighting for what's right. Like I'm somehow... I'm not sure, avenging, or making up for, everything at the Parkthorne and Haly's." He said, still staring at the kitten. "But really... I'm running away. I had just taken on this mugger, hoping he could give me some info, but... I went overboard. I knocked him unconscious after beating him." There was a twinge of honest fear in his voice.

"When it was all over, I found this kitten, and I couldn't shake it. And... I'm not sure why, but I remembered my early talks with Tim, about how after Jason died, Bruce just... lost it. And Tim helped bring him back. Like, having a Robin was a tether." His expression was an odd mix of thought, fear, and exhaustion.

"I don't... I don't have a tether. And... I'm worried I'm losing myself here."

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

She's about to remind him of the Titans, but then stops herself. They all check in, but...

Arsenal is staying in fleabag motels with his daughter, taking odd jobs and staying barely an inch ahead of Cheshire.

Wally's behavior since Zoom attacked Linda has been all over the map.

Tempest barely no one hears from. It's natural given his position. Rumor has it, his wife doesn't like him to contact the surface much.

Starfire? God only knows and she doesn't want to ask.

Let's just say Batman gave up "tether" status long ago.

She reaches out and moves a hair back behind his ear and lightly kisses his temple. She won't give him platitudes.

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

He accepted the affection, but withdrew after the kiss. He was as aware as she was that things tended to get complicated with them very quickly.

"I'm sorry to vent at you like this, and for... everything, lately." He shook his head. "Everyone's just... gone. I didn't know where else to go. The cat needs a home, and I certainly can't provide that." He smiled again, though this time it was stronger, slightly less forced.

"And whether I like to admit it or not, I definitely needed the shower. I smell like I just tangled with Croc on his home turf."

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

"You're fine. I mean you smell fine to me." Sure, a little like blood, sweat and garbage, but they went crazy on each other smelling worse than that. "Amazing what the rain does."

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

"You're too good to me, Babs." He said, still smiling. Maybe it had been talking, or the cat, or being around her again, but something felt lighter in his demeanor, as if he had put down his burden for a moment. He took another bite of his stew and and smiled.

"I want to say I can't remember the last time I've eaten something this good, but it's more accurate to say I'm having problems remembering last time I ate." He said with a short laugh. "You think that might be a bad sign?"

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

She smirks at him, her green eyes dancing above the rims of her glasses. "Ya think, Pixie Boots." She shakes her head. "I should get back to the computer." She not moving that direction, exactly, but she should.

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

"Uh, right." He said awkwardly, her declaration referencing the elephant in the room. "I should probably head to the shower, myself." He began to get up, and then, almost impulsively, gave her a hug. "Thanks a lot for everything." He let her go and began to walk towards the bathroom, not even realizing he was leaving behind half a bowl of stew.

"The cat will need a name." He said offhandedly as he walked. "I was thinking Gypsy. Too cutesy?" Already with the banter, as he slowly rebuilt the emotional walls that had become the norm as of late.

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

Next thing he'll know her hand will be on his arm.

"Gypsy is fine. She seems like chivani before her time." she notes, using the term he taught her for "wise woman."

She really should say something right now. something dramatic and honest and transcendent - but that's Dick's forte, not hers.

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

He stopped suddenly, and turned slowly as he, for the first time in the night, matched her gaze. He was being unfair to her, and he knew it. Showing up at her doorstep with a random stray, dumping his problems on her, and then just shutting himself off again. Maybe, he thought, he should just go for broke while he had exhaustion on his side as an excuse should things go sour.

"I was pretty out of line." He said, his eyes filled with a sort of soft determination. "Saying I didn't have a tether." He paused a moment, unsure of what to say next, before continuing with the question almost guaranteed to create awkwardness.

"I'm getting pretty tired of running away. You?"

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

"Me? Run? I'm not sure if I can do triathlons like I used to." She knows he hates it when she makes jokes about her legs, but she needed that moment. She holds up a hand, indicating he should let her finish.

"I've been a shitty tether," she admits. "It was okay not to include me. Ask me to crack the Pentagon, and I'm fine. People?" She shakes her head. "You were right about me. I know the argument was a long time back, but you joked about me substituting a computer for a life and I took you apart. I won't say you were right. What I didn't say was that you weren't wrong. Work is a terrific substitute for getting a life, but only for so long. I'm..." She swallows. "I'm trying here. Same as you - just in a different way."

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

He narrowed his eyes at her joke, but then just shook his head and turned to resume his walk to shower.

"I get you. But, some food for thought?" He said over his shoulder. "Neither of our ways seem to be doing us much good. Might be time for a new strategy." He said, as he walked to the bathroom and closed the door.

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

She frowns. Hunk Wonder has some things to learn about women if he's going to walk off on that line. She mulls over his words as she embarks on her next course of action.

Logic is not working. She can't be wholly logical with Dick Grayson. She has nearly two decades worth of data to back up that conclusion. The fact he just left a ball in her court regarding their relationship annoys her because he should know she's horrible at this by now. Like, "making a clocktower too high up no one can see it," horrible.

Talking this out is not working. She's horrible at it. He's tired and feeling barely alive. She won't just let things stand like that. New plan indeed.

The next thing Dick Grayson knows, his shower curtain will be thrown open. The only thing between him and a naked Babs Gordon is the low rim of the tub.

"Back scrub?" She asks casually.

[first-titan.livejournal.com]

At first, the former Boy Wonder was shocked, covering himself quickly and awkwardly. After a brief moment, the surprise was lessened and he realized what she was playing at. However, he wasn't one to just make things easy. He looked at her with a wry smile.

"Gee, if only there was some privacy ensuring device that would block entryways during vulnerable moments. Like, a door or something." He said dryly, but lightly. "Is this your playful way of saying 'Okay, we can give it another shot', or does my back just look like it needs extra attention?"

[l33t-winged-bat.livejournal.com]

Because he left her on the note he did, she makes him wait, with her only response being a pair wryly raised eyebrows before picking up a loofa in silence and starting to work on his back.